It seems there is more than enough grief to go around these days.
The war torn areas of our globe are constantly racking up the numbers of those who are dying. The homicide rate in this country is through the roof. This past weekend there was a double fatal shooting in New Orleans, and an additional eight people who were shot in four separate incidents. In Chicago, at least 55 people have been shot and eight fatally wounded over the Fourth of July weekend. At least six people were killed and dozens wounded over the weekend in Philadelphia. Now we have over 100 persons who have died during a flood here in Texas. We haven’t even mentioned the numbers of persons who have died due to illness over the weekend. Approximately 150,000 people die each day across the globe. That averages out to about 1.77 deaths per second of every day.
We can tend to find ourselves in an almost constant state of grief. How do we handle such an onslaught on our emotional and mental capacity? “Grief is the natural emotional and physical reaction to loss, most commonly associated with the death of a loved one. Its a complex process with various emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and social dimensions.”
Some response to the overwhelming numbers of deaths we read about, see in the media, and even experience on a personal level is certain to occur. We can skip over the news accounts, we can turn a deaf ear to the cacophony of cries we hear, we can even simply shut down taking in any more difficult news. We can also absorb what we see, hear and experience and process our grief in healthy ways.
What we should know about grief is its not an occurrence or an event, it is a journey. Even though its a journey, there is not a finite destination. As a journey, we know there will be many stops along the way. There will be stops where we cry, stops where we feel a deep pain and sorrow, stops where we may experience anger and confusion, stops where we are even physically affected. Every stop along our journey of grief is God-given. God has made us with this internal grief process in order for us to handle what life throws at us.
We really can’t ignore the news that hits us every day. We can try to avoid it. We can try to downplay it. We can even try to erect a barrier to it by shunning any empathy that rises in us. The problem with that is, we are not allowing ourselves to go on the journey that has a healing and wholeness aspect to it. Although the grief journey doesn’t have a destination, it does provide for growth along the way, and for healing to occur.
I’ve written about this before, but I lost my beloved Antoine going on five years ago. Guess what? I’m still on the journey of grief. There are days when it seems like he just left me, and days when it seems like such a long time ago. What I know is, my grief has turned from intense to a sweet memory of all he meant to me. I still have times when I think of him and cry, but there are many more times when he crosses my mind and brings a smile and sense of joy for having had him in my life. Moving from the intense emotional stop on my journey, to where I am now, I would say is an experience of healing.
In Psalm 34:18 we read…”The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” And in Matthew 5:4 Jesus tells us…”Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Even grief is useful for God’s purposes, it brings us closer to God and allows us to lean and depend on God. Too often we want to go it alone. God intends for us to cry and lean on him. God has broad shoulders and arms of comfort if we will draw near to him. In 1 Peter 5:7 we are told…”Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.” And then in Matthew 11:28-30 we read…”Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Finally, in Revelation 21:4 we can come to realize our journey takes us to a hope filled future…”he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.”
There is no shortening of the journey. You can try to avoid it, but it will just make it that much longer for us. We need to allow ourselves to grieve the events we are experiencing, and let God’s healing love move us along the journey with him. May God’s love continue to surround us and all who grieve and mourn.
Your companion on the Way,
Pastor Tom