Each of us face a multitude of decisions each and every day. How do we process this? Decisions can be easy or hard, or anything in between. Many decisions are almost autonomic. Deciding when to stand, when to sit, when to walk, when to run. There are myriads of reasons for the timing of such decisions, but many times they are made way back in our subconscious, with little or no input from us.
But what about the important decisions? How do we make those? Do we weigh the pros and cons of each such decision. Giving a point system to each perceived positive and negative outcome, do we then arrive at what we think is a logically correct decision? That’s one way to do it.
What about mundane decisions, like what to have for dinner? One of the most frustrating of all decisions used to be what did I and my partner want to eat. My partner would say, “I don’t care, you choose.” Uh uh, I’ve fallen for that trap before. I’d choose something, only to have him say, no, he didn’t want that. Ugh! Exasperation would set in, and I’d ask, what did he want? Again, “doesn’t really matter” would be the answer. We would go back and forth like that for awhile. Very frustrating. I’d end up with asking, “what don’t you want to eat?” I’d try to attack the decision process from a negative standpoint, clear out all the undesirable options first, then we could narrow down what to choose!
The truth is, sometimes I simply have decision fatigue. I just don’t want to have to deal with making one more decision. Even my wardrobe decisions I try to narrow down a lot. I have a small number of colors and styles I choose from, so that’s one more decision I can make as simple as possible.
There are, however, decisions in life that we must take seriously and must find a process by which we can feel somewhat hopeful we can arrive at the right answer. Big decisions: Where to live, what to do as an occupation/vocation, who to fall in love and form a relationship with. These are consequential decisions that can’t necessarily be graded on a point system. They are personal, life-affecting decisions. They have to take into account who we are, what makes us thrive, where we find joy, peace, comfort, belonging, love. These are not easily answerable, and certainly don’t follow some routine decision making matrix.
There’s only one place I know we can find answers to these kinds questions, its in communion with the One who created, sustains and redeems us. In other words, those decisions can only rightly be made in conversation with God. No one knows us better than we know ourselves, is a mantra we hear a lot. But I would take exception with that, the One who created us, knows us inside out.
The prophet Jeremiah in chapter 1, verse 5 relates God saying, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I sanctified you; and I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” Imagine, God knows us even better than we know ourselves. Who better to turn to when it comes to major inflection points in our lives? I happen to believe God is ready and willing to listen to us, to guide us, to lead us into the paths God would have us to follow. There are some who don’t want to trouble God with our human needs, but friends, God stands ready to hear us and respond to us.
Some will ask, how do you know what God wills for you? The short answer is, you don’t. What you do know is, if after much prayer and reflection, you keep coming back to the same answer, God is speaking to you. Now, we can’t enter the process with our thumb on the scale, weighting it with only what we want. We need to ask God what God wants for us and be ready and willing to receive the answer.
By the way, I don’t know that God really cares if I eat fried chicken tonight, or have Thai food. Those are questions I can easily grapple with. But when it comes to God’s will for me, I want to include God in those decisions, and I want to truly seek the answers God is ready and willing to provide.
Your companion on the Way,
Pastor Tom